a7efe39d25c443d9bcfc113a85e577e3

Choosing the Perfect Ceremony Layout for You and Your Venue

Mon, 04 Mar 2024 13:35:22 GMT

How Much Thought Should You Give to Your Ceremony Layout?

It's so important to me that everyone can get the most out of my blogs.
For those who find it easier, please feel free to listen to the below recording of this blog

It's safe to say that most wedding venues lend themselves to the traditional ceremony seating layout for guests, everyone facing forwards in rows. Sometimes the rows are tiered or angled and seats are staggered but that's where the creativity ends.

It is true to say that some thought has to go into moving away from this traditional layout. You must consider your guests and ensure that, if you are going to select a more unusual layout, everyone has a good view of the ceremony. However, for large ceremonies with 100 or more guests it can sometimes be difficult for everyone to get that perfect view in the traditional seating plan.

So, how can you break tradition whilst still ensuring all your guests are happy?

Talk to your venue!

They are likely to have tried at least a few variations to the traditional ceremony layout. They will know what works well for the venue and what to avoid. Don't be afraid to suggest something different but be willing to listen to their feedback and reach a compromise if necessary.

Talk to your Celebrant!

They will know what your ceremony includes. They will be able to look at movement during the ceremony, considering any symbolic elements you are including, readings, certificate signing and so on. Any good celebrant will visit your venue with you and chat through the options. They will also provide you with a sketch of your ceremony layout with suggested movement of the wedding party. This sketch can be shared with your venue, photographer etc. It can also help your florist or event planner suggest ideas for decorating the space.

Communicate with your guests

Most attending a wedding will be expecting the traditional layout. Let them know either before or by using signage on the day which explains the seating plan and whether they are required to sit in any specific place.

Can everyone hear?

Not only is the view from each seat important, it is also vital you consider how far away people will be from the focal ceremony spot. If too far, guests will struggle to hear you and that is such a shame if you have spent so long planning your ceremony, writing your vows and working with your celebrant to create a truly unique ceremony. Many celebrants have speakers and microphones. If a specific layout is important to you but sound could be an issue, talk yo your venue and celebrant - there's always a solution.

Consider Religious or Cultural Traditions

Plan for religious or cultural ceremony traditions. You may want to follow specific seating arrangements or customs for the ceremony. Whether you are exchanging your vows beneath a chuppah or Mandap or creating a ceremony which blends culture and tradition, take your time to discuss what is important to you both and make that your starting point.

Walk through your idea

If possible create a mock up of your ceremony space before the day, walk through it, sit in various spots and get a feel for if it genuinely works for you and your guests.

Research

Pinterest is a great starting place! Look for other peoples ideas. What have people used, what looks good, what doesn't quite work. Reduce your list down to two or three possibilities and then take those forward to discuss with your venue and celebrant.

How Long an Aisle would you like?

You may also want to consider how long an aisle your layout creates. Do you want the opportunity to listen to as much as your entrance song as possible, or do you want to get to the front as quickly as possible as you just can't cope with being the centre of attention for too long! Do you even plan on walking down the aisle? These are all factors that need to be considered when looking at layout for your ceremony.

Consider the Weather

Your celebrant should help you to consider things such as the location of the sun at the time of your ceremony, wet weather back up and providing shade and shelter from the elements for you and your guests. It's important to ensure that your ceremony layout takes into consideration the great British weather (if you are getting married in this country). Don't just hope for good weather! Have a backup!!

Chat to your Photographer and Videographer

Other considerations are accessibility to those key photos and shots for your wedding photographer and videographer. Ensure you have spoken to them about your proposed ceremony layout, show them a plan and how you propose the layout to work. Show them your standing positions, where your celebrant will stand and be willing to take guidance from them if they feel some slight changes would be beneficial. You pay a lot of money for those shots of your day... you want them to be perfect!

So what layout options are there?

The options really are endless. From using rows of chairs in a round or semi-circle layout so guests surround the ceremony, Split circular seating into four quarters where you arrange chairs in rounded rows, to informal clusters of chairs or a scattering of small bistro tables and chairs for an intimate seating arrangement.

You could make a heart, arrange chairs or benches in straight rows to create a square around the couple or you could create Amphitheater seating. You may even like to go for an offset aisle or even Seat guests at the reception tables for the ceremony itself.

I invite you to get exploring... Chat to your celebrant...

We are full of creative ideas you know! x

Hospice Care Week - I'm supporting @HospiceUK’s #HospiceCareWeek

Wed, 11 Oct 2023 17:05:42 GMT

Help to Support Hospice Care Week by sharing your own story

It's so important to me that everyone can get the most out of my blogs.
For those who find it easier, please feel free to listen to the below recording of this blog

My grandad was cared for by the Keech Hospice team many years ago and I still have such comforting memories of the way they supported him and us, ensuring his final weeks were as comfortable as possible, that he could be surrounded by his loved ones around the clock and that he was in a welcoming, homely environment where he felt safe.

I remember compassionate nurses who went the extra mile, dedicated volunteers who offered comfort and companionship, and an environment where my Grandad and my family were able to find a sense of community during the most challenging of times.

Hospice teams across the UK are renowned for their unwavering commitment to providing comfort, support, and dignity to those nearing the end of their life. This week, during Hospice Care Week 2023, I'd like to shed light on the invaluable service provided by hospice teams throughout the UK, with a special mention of the heartwarming work carried out by our local hospices including Willen, Rennie Grove, Keech and Florence Nightingale.

As someone who works closely with families in my role as a funeral celebrant, I've had the privilege of witnessing the immense positive impact that hospice care can have on the lives of people within my community. Families I've had the honour of working with often share heartwarming and uplifting stories of the support offered to them by the dedicated teams at hospices within my area.

These hospices provide a sanctuary for families. They offer compassion, care, and love.

I've been told that the staff demonstrate unwavering dedication, offering specialised care for those with life-limiting conditions, focusing on enhancing the quality of life for their patients.

Hospice teams, including doctors, nurses, social workers, counselors, and volunteers, work collaboratively to address not only the physical needs of patients but also their emotional, psychological, and spiritual well-being. This approach helps patients and their families find comfort and peace during incredibly distressing times.

These hospices also offers respite and support to families who often feel overwhelmed and isolated. They extend a helping hand to not only the patient but to their families as well, guiding them through the journey of caring for a loved one and through their grief.

To the entire hospice community, I extend my heartfelt gratitude for the incredible work you do.

Some Words from Hospice UK

Hospice UK shared that, for many people, working in a hospice can be the most rewarding and satisfying job of their career. But right now, hospices are facing growing pressure to fill roles and make sure that hospice staff are there for patients and their families when they need it most.

They want the government to make sure that funding, training and partnership working is a priority, so that hospices can continue to attract the very best staff. This #HospiceCareWeek, join them and @HospiceUK and celebrate all the people that make up hospice care.

Running from 9-15 October, Hospice Care Week is a chance for us to celebrate all the incredible people that make up hospice care. Get involved by celebrating an amazing hospice worker with the hashtags #HospiceCareWeek #WeAreHospiceCare @HospiceUK

When Your World Changes Overnight

Wed, 04 Oct 2023 09:59:42 GMT

Sharing My Own Experience of Grief

It's so important to me that everyone can get the most out of my blogs.
For those who find it easier, please feel free to listen to the below recording of this blog

We will all experience grief in our life, yet each of our experiences will be intensely personal. What I have learnt, from my own experience and from others who have shared theirs, is that the journey can be lonely, confusing, and at times, overwhelmingly painful.

Life has a way of changing in the blink of an eye. One moment, everything may seem perfectly

normal, and the next, you find yourself grappling with a sudden loss that shakes your world to its core.

In this weeks blog, I am inviting you to join me as I share a little of my own experience of sudden and unexpected loss and grief.

So, this is a story about one such moment in my life.

As a young child my life was touched by death on occasions, but I was lucky, it didn't visit me in any life altering way. I lost pets, whom I loved with all my heart and were of course big parts of my life as a child. But, with the help of my parents and family pet funerals in our garden, I mourned their loss, making scrap books with their photos and appreciating the time I had with them.

For me, grief shattered my world on a weekend morning, whilst laying in bed, with my young daughter laying next to me. If I'm honest, the moment was so devastating that even now, writing about it is incredibly difficult. My Nan, a lady I had loved and adored all of my life, had died. She and my other Nanny were the matriarchs of our family, and now, one of them had left us, suddenly and unexpectedly and I learnt in an instant that your heart really can feel pain.

I think when our world is turned upside down by the sudden death of a loved one, it's only natural to seek comfort from wherever we can find it. We spoke as a family about how, for my nan, it was quick. A few years before this moment we had mourned the death of my wonderful grandad, Reg, my Dad's, Dad. We were blessed with some time to accept what was to come, to sit and chat to him, to help care for him and to prepare just a little for the loss of someone who was such an important part of our lives, and boy was he a character!

But my Nan, had got up at the start of the day, said good morning to my grandad whom she loved so very much and then she died, from a sudden stroke. Of course, this did bring a tiny amount of comfort to incredibly dark times but our family had changed overnight, all of us had changed and that day has always stayed with me.

I had learnt how fragile life was, how limited our time with our loved ones was and how, when you love someone so deeply, the grief you feel following their death is just as deep.

I can remember each and every step I took throughout the rest of that day, the music that played on the radio as I drove over to my grandparents house, I still can't listen to it without crying, the pause and deep breath I took before walking into my grandparents house, the look on my grandads face and the very last time I held my Nanny's hand, she was a beautiful woman, and she was still just as beautiful.

Since this day, grief has of course been experienced by me and my loved ones following the loss of other amazing people within our family, I no longer have any of my grandparents in my life in a physical sense, although I know they still visit from time to time. I have also lost a dear, dear friend, a loss I won't be sharing publicly but which shattered my world just as much.

What I've learnt from my own experiences is that memories are important, talking about our loved ones who have died is a very special way of keeping them in our lives. Recognising their birthdays or other milestones, lighting candles, visiting their place of rest, watching old family videos... they are all ways that help me.

I remember my Nanny Rawson teaching me to knit, watching us play in the garden, giving me cuddles on the sofa and making incredible clothes for my dolls and teddies. My grandad Rawson was just as loving. He enjoyed taking us for walks down the green lanes, birdwatching, looking for abandoned nests and he taught us how to grow vegetables. My Nanny conquest taught me to bake, to decorate cakes and she was a very warm, loving and loyal woman who kept our family together. My grandad conquest was the life and soul of the party, even winning the worst singer competition on holiday! He liked a beer and socialising and was chief washer upper for my nan, often calling himself her Cinderella!

If any of you feel that sharing your memories of a loved one that has died would help you ,then please do feel free to use the comments section as a way of remembering them and telling others of your own experience.

I am also, as ever, here for anyone who would like to chat to me and can signpost you to organisations that may help if you are struggling with your own journey through grief. It's a path we must all walk at our own pace, but with each step, we carry the love and memories of those we've lost in our hearts.

Thank you for reading

Lyndsey x

My Role as Your Couples Celebrant

Wed, 27 Sep 2023 09:02:37 GMT

I do so much more than read a set script!

It's so important to me that everyone can get the most out of my blogs.
For those who find it easier, please feel free to listen to the below recording of this blog

As your couples celebrant, I am on hand from the moment you book me, right the way through to the big day itself.

But why would you book me in the first place?

Well, in a world where so much choice is on offer to couples when organising their big day, us celebrants are keen to get the message across that involving us in your day will ensure the most personal and memorable ceremony you could wish for.

As you spend hours choosing the best photographer, stationery, cake, clothes, food and so on, take a moment to consider the ceremony itself. Why would you be happy with a standard script, maybe with a choice of wording A, B or C, when you've put so much effort into the rest of your day to ensure it is a true reflection of you and your relationship. Don't see the ceremony as a formality leading to the main celebrations...see it as the best possible kick off to a day you have always dreamed of, the most memorable and creative appetiser ever, perhaps!

As a celebrant I will work with you, throughout the months running up to your day. I am here as a sounding board, an adviser and a creative; a friend who will never get bored of wedding talk!

I will listen to your ideas, I will ask you questions about your relationship, your hopes for your special day and for your future together. I will visit your venue with you and I will liaise with them and your other suppliers.

The end result is a bespoke script, incorporating your story, written in a way that entertains and engages your guests, evokes emotions and reflects who you are as people. I will help you write your own vows if you would like, or, after chatting with you, I am more than happy to write them on your behalf. I have an endless collection of poems and readings for you to draw from and my brain always enjoys a challenge, so if you have a few ideas tucked up your sleeve but have no idea how to turn them into reality... try me!

It's time to throw away the rule book and the expected traditions, if they don't suit you. Throw out the boring and predictable and welcome the new, the unique, the exciting and the downright amazing, celebrant led ceremony.

And, of course, there is no guarantee that we will fall in love with someone of the same faith as us. Interfaith ceremonies are becoming much more common. A celebrant led inter faith ceremony allows you to combine both sets of traditions, keeping in mind the beliefs and values of both families. We can include readings and rituals that are significant to the both of you, explaining each element along the way so that all your guests feel included and can gain a deeper understanding of your beliefs.

Then there's the totally unique symbolic elements that we can include in any ceremony. From Wine ceremonies, exchanging of love letters, time capsules, cocktail making, karaoke, shot ceremonies, jumping the broom to handfasting, candle lighting and tree planting... and that list contains only a small selection of the options available...why not create your own?

I'm hoping my love of celebrant led ceremonies and my excitement around the prospect of working with you to create your perfect ceremony is clear from this blog post. However, if you need any more convincing, do give me a call... I'd love to chat with you

Thanks for reading,

Lyndsey

The Day I Went to Abbey Road with Somewhere2Sing Choir

Thu, 21 Sep 2023 17:26:50 GMT

Live For Now - Abbey Road Recording

It's so important to me that everyone can get the most out of my blogs.

For those who find it easier, please feel free to listen to the below recording of this blog

So, in January this year I joined a choir. It's somethi ng I have always fancied doing but never quite found the time or the courage to do. When I was six I was in my school choir, we ended up performing in a big competition in Luton Arndale Centre at Christmas time. The memories I have of this experience are still so vivid and so comforting.

You know that feeling you get when you hear a song you absolutely love, being sung by a large group of people... the Goosebumps, that intense shiver down your spine...

well I love that!

Flashmobs, gospel choirs, children singing, barbershop quartets... I love them all!

One evening I was sitting in bed, browsing Facebook, when an advert for Somewhere2Sing Choir came up on my feed. I then browsed more, looking at some of their performances. There was one that stood out, a performance of a song from the Lion King, being performed at a wildlife park... I wanted to be involved in something like that!

Next came a couple of emails and a visit to my local group. I met new friends, an amazing choir leader called Jo, I found a new outlet to manage the stress and mixed emotions of my work and most importantly, I had fun.

Then, later in the year, we were asked if we would like to take part in an opportunity at Abbey Road and of course I signed up. I do however admit to almost backing out last minute through nerves... I'm so glad I didn't.

The video created from the day is above, I really hope you enjoy listening to it as much as I enjoyed taking part in the recording.

So, If you have ever really fancied doing something, whatever it may be, go do it! Live For Now...

Life is Far too Short!!!

you can find out more about somewhere2sing at www.somewhere2sing.co.uk

My Role as Your Funeral Celebrant

Thu, 21 Sep 2023 08:46:37 GMT

A Funeral What?

It's so important to me that everyone can get the most out of my blogs.
For those who find it easier, please feel free to listen to the below recording of this blog

I often get asked why I became a funeral celebrant, do I like my work, does it not depress me?

Now of course these are all questions I am happy to answer and there's definitely another blog post calling me to answer these questions.

Today however, I'm wanting to discuss what exactly my role as a funeral celebrant is.

There are still quite a few people who, when they hear me say that I'm a funeral celebrant, respond with "a what?".

I can't begin to tell you the number of people who have called me a "celibate" and don't get me started on the fact that every website that requires your occupation, including insurance search engines, do not even recognise our role as an occupation worth listing!

I often get told to "just select minister", "try putting registrar", "how about public speaker?".

The truth is none of those titles come close to the work we do and what we offer our local community.

So... let me explain... in my words, what my role as a funeral celebrant is.

I work closely with local funeral directors. There is of course an option for families to contact me directly, some do, especially if they have already worked with me, but most don't.

However I am put in touch with a family my role begins from that point. I always make initial contact with my families, if they have been referred to me, by an introduction to who I am, a text or whatspp message (so they have my number) offering my condolences and the opportunity for them to choose when I contact them. This is something I feel very strongly about.

Who, when deep in grief and just getting through the practicalities of each day as best they can, wants to receive a unexpected call from me, regarding their loved ones funeral, when they are packing their shopping up at the Tesco checkout, or dropping their children off at school?

Next step is for me to have a short chat on the phone with the family member in charge of the funeral preparations. I answer any initial questions they may have, I explain my role (maybe I won't need to once this blog post is published) and I arrange a time to meet them in person and this is where my support begins in full.

My job is to;

make the family feel comfortable in my presence and to create a safe space for them to share their thoughts, feelings and ideas for their loved ones ceremony.
keep an open mind and fully listen to them.
offer guidance and reassurance, supporting them from the first meeting, right through to the service itself. Some of us often stay in touch for a while afterwards if the family would like to.
ensure families are aware of what options are available for them and that what is perhaps traditional, or the norm, is not what they have to have.
help with music and poetry suggestions if the family need guidance.
Ensure that the service itself stays within the time constraints of the venue chosen, without rushing. If I feel longer is needed I will let the family know and liaise with the funeral director to see if it's a possibility.
Capture the true essence of the person that has died. It is the biggest compliment when those attending the funeral ask me how I knew the deceased. It means I did my job well!
help with the creation of the order of service if required
assist families with any media requirements, music, slideshows etc. and liaise with the venue regarding these on the day.
Liaise with the funeral arrangers and directors throughout.

Then there's what my personal role also includes. Not every celebrant may do this but here's what I do and what I feel is important.

I also,

Write a bespoke script for each of my families. I do not have templates that I slot personal eulogies in to. I write a full script which is personal to the deceased. A script that is woven with the deceased's personality, values and life story.
I liaise with everyone necessary, with the families consent, to ensure the whole of the person's life is reflected in the ceremony. This may include speaking to friends, colleagues, members from a club the deceased was a member of, and so on.
respect and incorporate the beliefs of the deceased or their family. This is where a celebrant really is special (again, there is a whole other blog post needed to discuss this).
Suggest personal, symbolic elements for the service, this may be incorporating some of the deceased's favourite items, singing one of their favourite songs, using their favourite song lyrics in the committal wording, lighting candles, spraying perfume, having a toast... the list is endless!
Ensure the ceremonies I deliver are as inclusive as possible.
supplying the family with a full keepsake script of the service. It's been written personally for them, why would I not share it with them in full? Many families tell me that the ceremony itself goes by in a blur. Having a keepsake script allows them to re-read what was said at a time they feel more able to process it.
remain at the crematorium or burial ground until the family are ready to leave. I am there for them every minute, along with the funeral director.

Lastly, I am that friendly face in the crowd. Whether at the crematorium on the day or in town a few days, weeks or months later. The relationship I build with my families is a special one, and each time I deliver a ceremony a small place in my heart becomes dedicated to them. It's something that's quite difficult to explain, but my fellow celebrants will likely relate.

What I do is so truly special to me there is no way I can fully explain my role here or the profound impact my work has on me, but I hope that this blog gives you a better insight into my role as a funeral celebrant.

If you like the sound of the way I work then remember where I am. I'd like to say that I hope you never need to work with me but we are of course all human, death is a part of life. Just know that I'm only at the end of the phone if you ever need a supportive, friendly and creative celebrant to help you in your time of grief.

Thank you for reading x